yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
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