Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My ATM looks so different sober.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
