Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
