also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
MIDGETS
????
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
