FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize