Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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