As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
