so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Someone came in the potted fern
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
