I skipped work to stalk him.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
