I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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