I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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