what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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