apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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