that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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