Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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