Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
