they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
