i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
