I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
