he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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