It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
