I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
