If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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