Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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