We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize