Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize