I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
