I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
