WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
