I wanna passion pit in your ass
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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