The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
