Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

pwbgyin

(1-303): View more from Colorado

what?

(303): View more from Colorado

penguin condom

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(313): View more from Michigan

Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.

(1-313): View more from Michigan

I would love to give you more rug burn

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(404): View more from Georgia

You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.

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(516): View more from New York

he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick

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(602): View more from Arizona

If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.

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(914): View more from New York

That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."

(845): View more from New York

Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?

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(404): View more from Georgia

This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.

(770): View more from Georgia

Wow. And yours is kind of small.

(404): View more from Georgia

RIGHT?

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