She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
