Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
