I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Randomize
