It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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