her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
