Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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