I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
