How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Randomize
