i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
