Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
