U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
