Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
