that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
