and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
