Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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