It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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