I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize