paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
