So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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