And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
my poor anus
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize