Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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