maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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