so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
