she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
