I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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