That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
