shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
