why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
FUCK WHALES
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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