New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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